Ask and Listen

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration says those two things are most important if you believe someone may be thinking about suicide.

Kate Spade, Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, Kurt Cobain, Jovan Belcher (KC Chiefs), Junior Seau, Simone Battle (X-Factor), Don Cornelius, Michael Hutchence (INXS), Freddie Prinze, the list goes on.  I Googled this list and Wikipedia had too many to even fathom.  Mental health needs to be part of our everyday discussions.  This is not someone else’s problem.  We all are touched by it – our families, our friends, our neighbors, our kids….

I wanted to take my blog this week to help bring more awareness to this issue.  Suicides are on the rise.  U.S. suicides overall totaled nearly 45,000 in 2016, a 35% increase compared with 10 years earlier, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics.  There is a suicide in the U.S. every 13 minutes.  13 minutes.

Not surprisingly, workplace suicides are also on the rise compelling corporations to re-think how we talk about mental health at work.  Suicides in the workplace totaled about 300 in 2016, the highest number since the government began keeping track 25 years ago, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And, a new study by researchers from the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) analyzed census data and found that workplace suicides have increased every year since 2010.  NIOSH researchers found that people in certain occupations faced higher risks, for example, first responders who experience high stress and have easy access to guns.

From the pages and articles in our own USA Today (Oquendo, Guynn, Powers, O’Donnell, Saker, Zoroya, and Posner): 

“We often assume that people who commit suicide are mentally ill, but this isn’t always the case. There are many other factors that have nothing to do with mental illness, including loss of a relationship, loneliness, chronic illness, financial loss, history of trauma or abuse and the stigma associated with asking for help.  Even for those who do ask for help, friends and family can be flummoxed by “successful people” planning their own deaths.

Some of the puzzlement has to do with a misunderstanding about what leads to suicide.  Most people think of suicide as a catastrophic reaction to a stressful event.  Whether it is a marital, financial, legal or academic problem, the lore goes, the person cannot deal with it and takes their own life.  But that is far from accurate. After all, most of us are beset by stressors. Often. And while suicide rates continue to climb at an alarming pace, the vast majority of people do not turn to suicide when faced with a problem, no matter how devastating or overwhelming. 

Research clearly shows that the effects of external stressors are dwarfed by the effects of psychiatric conditions. Depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, alcohol or drug misuse, psychosis — all of these greatly increase risk. 

What happens in the mind of the suicidal individual? The individual feels that their existence is wretched, the pain is intolerable, and the problem without solution. This conviction occurs regardless of whether an outsider would agree with the assessment.”

First, it is essential to note that asking someone about suicide does not “put ideas” into their head.  We know from research conducted in many populations, including high school students, that it is safe to ask about suicidal thoughts. To the contrary, the person is often quite relieved because they had not previously felt comfortable talking about these very frightening and disturbing thoughts. 

Next, it is imperative to get help for the suicidal person. If your community has a mental health clinic, that can be a good place to start. Some may prefer to start with their own family doctor or pediatrician for advice on what to do. National crisis hotlines such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) can also provide assistance. If the risk seems imminent, the local emergency department can evaluate the person and refer him or her to appropriate resources, including hospitalization.”

Alarming new statistics show that our children are increasingly at risk of suicidal thoughts, attempts and deaths.  A new study led by Vanderbilt University, published in the academic journal, Pediatrics, reports a more than doubling from 2008 to 2015 of school-age children and adolescents hospitalized for suicidal thoughts or attempts.   Just more than half were youth between the ages of 15-17, followed by those between the ages of 12-14 (37 percent), and those ranging in ages from 5-11 (nearly 13 percent).

All told, suicide takes more lives of our youth than automobile accidents.  The sad truth: Suicide among our youth ages 10-24 was the second leading cause of death, behind unintentional injuries, in 2015, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The pace has quickened since 2006.

Even as psychiatrists and public health specialists struggle to explain the growing numbers, people who have survived their own suicide attempts say there are things that ordinary people can do to help someone they know who might be at risk of suicide: ask and listen.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration says, here’s what to do if you believe someone may be thinking about suicide:

• Ask them if they are thinking about killing themselves. (This will not put the idea into their head or make it more likely that they will attempt suicide.)
• Listen without judging and show you care.
• Stay with the person, or make sure the person is in a private, secure place with another caring person, until you can get further help.
• Remove any objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and follow their guidance.

If danger for self-harm seems imminent, call 911.

Some additional workplace resources:

• Suicide Prevention Resource Center
• Working Through It
• Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention
• Heads Up
• Each Mind Matters
 

The takeaway advice from me for all of us (and I read this somewhere): “When in doubt, reach out.”  Ask and Listen.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 800-273-8255.

As USA Today’s Kelly Posner stated, “Suicide can be prevented — which sets it apart from other sources of pain and suffering in the world. We need to get to a place where everybody, everywhere asks the questions that help identify at-risk individuals and get them the help that they need. Together, we can prevent these unnecessary tragedies”

Together.  We.  Win.

Dave Harmon
People Division
“Kindness is Currency”
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/davidharmonhr

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