My post today is about a sad
event in my life, but I will try to not make it sad. Our dog Bella died
yesterday….
There are 78 million dogs in
the United States (and yes, for you cat owners, there are 86 million cats - not
sure about parrots, weasels, hamsters or lizards). Almost half of all US
households are dog homes. The top breeds for dogs are: Labs, German
Shepherds, Golden Retrievers, Bulldogs and Beagles.
Our Bella was a Lab/Saint
Bernard mix. Duchess, before her, was a Lab. Cinnamon was a
Lab/Shepherd/Rottweiler mix. Loved them all. Like kids, they
all had different personalities. Some listened better than others.
Some ate more. Some made more messes. Some were pleasant all the
time. Some were very protective. All loved us
unconditionally. All day. Every day.
Last night was the first time
in 22 years I walked into my house with no dog to greet me. Yesterday, my
son Jonny and my wife Nikki walked Bella, for the last time, to our
veterinarian’s office. It was time. We were selfish. It may
have been a week longer than it should have. Cancer sucks. For
dogs, for humans. For all. Bella went to sleep yesterday. I
cried. Jonny had cleared out everything reminding him of Bella by
the time I arrived home last night. I was sad again. I cried.
So here is where we turn the
corner. What did we learn from Bella (and Duchess and Cinnamon)?
Life is precious. Life is short. Life goes on. Kindness
matters.
Why do we love our dogs?
It appears that our dogs have evolved specialized skills for
understanding our social behavior. Lizards and weasels don't show
recognizable human emotions, nor do they trigger our “she's my girl"
impulses. Thus, the weasels and lizards don't (usually) move into our homes,
get their photos taken with Santa, and often don’t even get names. If our
dog's love is just an evolutionary trick, does that diminish it? I don't think
so. Dogs have figured out how to insinuate themselves into our lives in ways
that benefit us both. We get affection and attention. They get the same, plus
food, shelter, and protection. To grasp this exchange doesn't trivialize our
love, it explains it. A bit of the Golden Rule if you look at it through
a dog’s eyes.
We also love our dogs because
they think we are the greatest chefs, the best athletes, their best friend, and
for many of us they are great listeners. Who doesn’t talk to their
dog? Do they ever answer us…..not really. They are just happy to
be.
We should be “happy to be”- At
work, at home, in life – we often overthink everything. Why? Dogs
have figured this out. In time this too shall pass. People with
dogs live longer, live happier, live more actively. People with dogs are
rewarded everyday with love … unending, beautiful love.
I always try to find the
lesson in the events life throws our way. Three wonderful dogs, three
wonderful lives, three sad deaths. Would I change anything, sure I
would. Spend more time with them, go on more walks, teach them more
tricks. Maybe even give them more treats. Would I really change
anything….nope. They are family, they are part of our habits and
rituals. They figure us out. They train us.
So, what are the lessons I
learned?
Dogs truly only care about us
– that one-to-one relationship. All heart, no ego. They are great
partners when we are sad. They listen..they are ok with our
sadness. Dogs are vulnerable – their vulnerability brings on more
love. Dogs give it all – they unconditionally love you and do not “wait”
to see if you will love them back. They are all in. Dogs live in
the moment. See my tail – chase it. See a bird – chase it.
See a bone – grab it. Chew that couch….. Time is now for
dogs. Dogs are not material. They do not care if another dog has a
bigger bed, thicker blankets, a better SUV to ride in. They only care
about time with you. Love is all that matters. And dogs mourn loss,
but not a lost future. They do not get stuck in grief. They move
on. I must too.
Thank you Cinnamon, Duchess
and Bella for being my three greatest four-legged mentors. I cherish the
memories, the lessons and the laughs. You taught me how to be in the
moment, rolling in the grass, digging in the dirt, enjoying a snowfall, not
worrying about time, what it means to be alive - without judgement, just
thankfulness and happiness. Every day was a gift with my three dogs. I
did not realize then, but I do now. I will see you again someday when I
cross over that Rainbow Bridge. Just come up and jump on me like you all
did. Miss ya girls.
Dave Harmon
People Division
“Kindness is Currency”
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/davidharmonhr
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