CURRENCY is Kindness

Many of you know I always speak to “kindness is currency”.  This week I was pleasantly surprised by a small action that occurred in my building with some of our employees.  During the week someone had obviously dropped a ten dollar bill in a long hallway that is well traveled in our workspace.  In the middle of the hallway, taped to the wall, was an envelope with a note attached that basically said “we found your lost money and if it is yours please take it from inside the envelope and if it is not….”  That little piece of kindness has stuck with me all week. 

It is amazing how little acts of kindness often can “wipe out” all the stress or tension we feel daily.  I was so impressed, I came back and discussed it with my co workers.  It made my day AND week better knowing we employ great people like this.

The neurosciences and social science research is clear: kindness changes the brain by the experience of kindness. Children do not learn kindness by only thinking about it and talking about it. Kindness is best learned by feeling it so that they can reproduce it. Kindness is an emotion kids can feel and empathy is a strength that they can share.

How do we get better with this currency?  Think about what 15 minutes a day could do if you exercised your kindness and found a way to deliberately be kind and compassionate toward another person. What if instead of trying to be kind 24/7, you start off small - like taking the brief run, versus running a marathon. Find one co-worker, extend a kind word, a nice smile or a helping hand each day.   After three weeks, it will become a habit.  A nice habit at that.

So, an open letter to our Gannett employee who started all of this.  Thank you for your kindness.  It has paid itself forward.  Together.  We.  Win.

Dave Harmon

People Division

“Kindness is Currency”

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/davidharmonhr

Follow Dave and other USA TODAY NETWORK highlights at: Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram,  Facebook, The Muse and Gannett Careers

The Golden Rule - Through the Eyes of our Dogs

My post today is about a sad event in my life, but I will try to not make it sad.  Our dog Bella died yesterday….

There are 78 million dogs in the United States (and yes, for you cat owners, there are 86 million cats - not sure about parrots, weasels, hamsters or lizards).  Almost half of all US households are dog homes.  The top breeds for dogs are: Labs, German Shepherds, Golden Retrievers, Bulldogs and Beagles.

Our Bella was a Lab/Saint Bernard mix.  Duchess, before her, was a Lab.  Cinnamon was a Lab/Shepherd/Rottweiler mix.   Loved them all.  Like kids, they all had different personalities.  Some listened better than others.  Some ate more.  Some made more messes.  Some were pleasant all the time.  Some were very protective.  All loved us unconditionally.  All day.  Every day. 

Last night was the first time in 22 years I walked into my house with no dog to greet me.  Yesterday, my son Jonny and my wife Nikki walked Bella, for the last time, to our veterinarian’s office.  It was time.  We were selfish.  It may have been a week longer than it should have.  Cancer sucks.  For dogs, for humans.  For all.  Bella went to sleep yesterday.  I cried.   Jonny had cleared out everything reminding him of Bella by the time I arrived home last night.  I was sad again. I cried.

So here is where we turn the corner.  What did we learn from Bella (and Duchess and Cinnamon)?  Life is precious.  Life is short.  Life goes on.  Kindness matters.

Why do we love our dogs?  It appears that our dogs have evolved specialized skills for understanding our social behavior.  Lizards and weasels don't show recognizable human emotions, nor do they trigger our “she's my girl" impulses.  Thus, the weasels and lizards don't (usually) move into our homes, get their photos taken with Santa, and often don’t even get names.  If our dog's love is just an evolutionary trick, does that diminish it? I don't think so. Dogs have figured out how to insinuate themselves into our lives in ways that benefit us both. We get affection and attention. They get the same, plus food, shelter, and protection. To grasp this exchange doesn't trivialize our love, it explains it.  A bit of the Golden Rule if you look at it through a dog’s eyes. 

We also love our dogs because they think we are the greatest chefs, the best athletes, their best friend, and for many of us they are great listeners.  Who doesn’t talk to their dog?  Do they ever answer us…..not really.  They are just happy to be. 

We should be “happy to be”- At work, at home, in life – we often overthink everything.  Why?  Dogs have figured this out.  In time this too shall pass.  People with dogs live longer, live happier, live more actively.  People with dogs are rewarded everyday with love … unending, beautiful love. 

I always try to find the lesson in the events life throws our way.  Three wonderful dogs, three wonderful lives, three sad deaths.  Would I change anything, sure I would.  Spend more time with them, go on more walks, teach them more tricks.  Maybe even give them more treats.  Would I really change anything….nope.  They are family, they are part of our habits and rituals.  They figure us out.  They train us. 

So, what are the lessons I learned?

Dogs truly only care about us – that one-to-one relationship.  All heart, no ego.  They are great partners when we are sad.  They listen..they are ok with our sadness.  Dogs are vulnerable – their vulnerability brings on more love.  Dogs give it all – they unconditionally love you and do not “wait” to see if you will love them back.  They are all in.  Dogs live in the moment.  See my tail – chase it.  See a bird – chase it.  See a bone – grab it.  Chew that couch…..   Time is now for dogs.  Dogs are not material.  They do not care if another dog has a bigger bed, thicker blankets, a better SUV to ride in.  They only care about time with you.  Love is all that matters.  And dogs mourn loss, but not a lost future.  They do not get stuck in grief.  They move on.  I must too. 

Thank you Cinnamon, Duchess and Bella for being my three greatest four-legged mentors.  I cherish the memories, the lessons and the laughs.  You taught me how to be in the moment, rolling in the grass, digging in the dirt, enjoying a snowfall, not worrying about time, what it means to be alive - without judgement, just thankfulness and happiness. Every day was a gift with my three dogs.  I did not realize then, but I do now.  I will see you again someday when I cross over that Rainbow Bridge.  Just come up and jump on me like you all did.  Miss ya girls.

Dave Harmon

People Division

“Kindness is Currency”

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/davidharmonhr

Follow Dave and other USA TODAY NETWORK highlights at: Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram,  Facebook, The Muse and Gannett Careers

Vacations Matter...

Vacations are not a luxury; they are needed.  Needed for your emotional, physical and family well-being. Needed because they are fun! I just returned from a great week in Puerto Rico with my family.  Some random thoughts about my week away from work:

-          Guess what?  All my work was still there waiting for me upon my return.

-          Guess what?  The world did not end and my company kept moving forward without me.

-          Guess what?  Some co-workers may have actually missed me (or so they said – but they did seem to be happy I was back).

-          Guess what?  I did not disconnect for 10 days, but I did what I call the “stress reducing disconnect” (every morning before most of my family was awake, I would jump online and go through my emails. Yes, I helped things to keep moving at work – but more importantly to alleviate my own stress of what would await me if I stayed offline for 10 days).

What does all this mean?  It means many of us generally think we are more needed than we actually are.  I do not mean that in a sarcastic way, I mean it as the reality of our world today.  And if we take this into account, we can then begin to enjoy the precious time with family that we have.  For those of us working 52 weeks per year, many of us only enjoy 3-5 weeks of time off.  That is 6-10% of your time not at work.  So, let’s take that 6-10% of our time and enjoy ourselves.  

Here is why:

-          Vacations relive stress, prevent illness, improve your sleep and may even make you happier.

-          Vacations also make you more productive at work and may even MAKE YOU A BIT LIGHTER AROUND THE MIDSECTION. (so for me I may need to take off a few years…)

Getting away from ongoing stress and fatigue can help relieve the pressure we put on our bodies.  The stress hormones are reduced and the happy endorphins take over.  Science.

There have been many studies which show that regular vacations can help us improve our sleep by 15-25% and we sleep longer on vacation – up to an hour more per night AND this carries over when we come back.  Science.

My friend David Rock has taught me a lot of neuroscience over the last five years.  Science actually says that our brains can be chronically altered by constant stress which can lead to depression.  Vacations counteract some of these issues and studies have shown people who take regular vacations are 3 times less likely to be depressed.   Science.

I know it may seem counter intuitive, but research has shown that taking regular vacation may actually make you more productive.  You also take less sick days if you use your vacation.  Science.

And… about that mid section.  Many of us admit to eating as a response to stress.   Usually that eating is not fruit or vegetables.  Stress hormones such as cortisol are linked to increased belly fat and weight gain, which is linked to heart disease. Studies have shown, people who regularly vacation feel more energized and active.   They were also found to have improved glucose levels and even had some weight loss around their bellies.  Science.

I encourage you to take advantage of regular vacations — your life will be more interesting, well-rounded and enjoyable!

So, what did I learn:

-          Guess what?  I loved hanging out with my wife and four twentyish boys who loved to be active – atv’s, parasailing, jet skis, paddle boards, etc.

-          Guess what?  I had great quality conversations with my wife over some nice cold drinks in lovely outdoor cafes.

-          Guess what?  I had nice walks with my wife.

-          Guess what?  I slept in, went to bed early, went to bed late.  It was nice.

-          Guess what?  I learned a lot about the Spanish and Puerto Rican cultures.

-          Guess what?  I love my family and love to hang out with them.  Time is precious.

-          Guess what?  I laughed, I smiled, I joked, I relaxed.

Vacations matter.  Take one.  Let me know about your favorite adventure.

Dave Harmon

People Division

“Kindness is Currency”

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/davidharmonhr

Follow Dave and other USA TODAY NETWORK highlights at: Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram,  Facebook, The Muse and Gannett Careers